I hope you guys are having a splendid day!
Today's we are going to introduce fresh from the oven recipe #2- Sugarcoat
"people often don't say what they mean and they often don't mean what they say"?- Scollon
Upon reading this phrase, we can't help but to think of our beloved Malay culture and the fact that we are well-known on top of being highly expected to observe our "budi bahasa" or politeness from the moment we were born till the day we die.
This brings us to a lot of sugarcoating the core point or the basic understanding. It is rather polite and sometimes it is just the beginning of showering a person with compliments before you viciously chop them down into pieces. Nonetheless, the idea behind this whole concept is not that simple. We are sure you must have met some people who sugarcoat too much that they expect you to understand the intended meaning because it is just not polite to spill out the truth. This process can go on and on and on for weeks, months and even years. It is also quite funny the fact that we always have this one belief installed in our minds that things will get ridiculously awkward if we say things in a straight-forward manner.
(Problem: I need you to chip in some money for the gas)
A: Hey, you know, the price of the petrol is increasing nowadays.
B: Yeah, that's true.
A:You know...
B: Yes.
A: Nothing. It's great having you around.^^
The situation gets rather toxic when it involves the elderly. Sometimes we would just bury the bitter truth down to the grave and never speak of it again. This scenario usually happens when you go over a friend's house and the food don't mix well with your taste buds or the moment you have to agree to the elderly even with the invalid facts and contradicting opinions while you are raging inside.
Regardless of the cultural interceptions, ALWAYS say what you mean and mean what you say especially when you are apologizing to someone.
Hi girls :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic you've here. We (Amy & Nad) agree that sugarcoating doesn't helps you most of the time. We should spill the truth and say directly what we want to say, what we really mean. Most people refuse to say straightforward because they are afraid that they might hurt the other party. But honestly, knowing the painful truth hurts less than the comforting lies, right?
-Amy&Nad
Hey girls! Thank you for the input! That is true. Telling the truth somehow saves all the future incoming pain although it stings at first.
DeleteHi guys! I was actually deceived by your entry title LOL! Anyways, what you guys said was so true! If you guys don't mind, I want to share my experience here heee :D.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I always force myself to speak whatever that I have in mind, but I just can't. For instance, someone borrowed my money and did not pay back. The problem with me is that, I am the one who is shy to ask for my debt! I mean, I do remind them once or twice about their debt and that's it. If they're not paying it, sometimes I will just let it go (only if the debt is not too much btw!). Again, it's just part of the Malay culture. We were taught since young to always be polite no matter what (╯︵╰,)
Nevertheless, it all depends on the person themselves. Some people can just say whatever they want to say, and some just cant.
Gotcha! We were actually hoping that someone would be deceived by the title. Hahaha.
DeleteYour story is the epitome of the common struggles that most of the people are facing. I guess we all have that one soft spot when it comes to money and friends. :(